So I watched Ultimate Girls today while waiting for a pick up to do holiday shopping. This anime doesn’t even pretend to be plot with a side of fanservice it just is fanservice with barely a sliver of plot…or more like fanservice and a side of boy wangst.
Basic premise: Tokyo is having monster problems, more accurately every Monday a fairly ridiculous Godzilla sized monster shows up and it’s up to UFO Man! an also Godzilla sized humanoid to stop them…until one wacky day….
He happens to step on our heroines killing them and then is generous enough to share his life force with them to resurrect them. With a catch of course. UFO Man is now tiny and hovers about in a small UFO shaped ship and the girls are perfectly normal except for when it’s time for the monster of the week and one of the lucky ladies has to combine with UFO man to become an ULTIMATE GIRL and save the day.
Our slice of wangst comes in the form of the big brother of one of the UFO girls who is of course a photographer in the newspaper club (which seems to basically consist of only him) who is only interested in discovering the true identity of the Ultimate Girls.
Good points. The girls get to take turns (usually) being Ultimate Girl (though usually it’s Silk who’s stuck with the job).
Bad points. In order to transform they have to grab onto UFO man’s extremely phallic extending wand at which point he climaxes and his ejaculate rips through their clothing and forms their protective coating.
Bad point 2. This protective coating typically only lasts three minutes (though I swear towards the later half it’s 30 seconds or less) and then starts to disintegrate in the form of tear holes until they’re naked.
Bad point 3. In order to be able to perform you know anything useful the girls must be embarrassed so the less embarrassed by being nude or the situation they’re in the less power they have to defeat the beast…which by the way involves breaking their core something that is usually highly phallic (especially when it’s Silk).
Good point 2. The reporters chasing after the girls originally wanted to call them UFO-Man P(retty) but the girls nixed that idea and made sure to get out their own chosen “ultimate girls” title instead.
Bad point 4. Which one reporter promptly added to depending on which girl is fighting that week…so we have Ultimate Girl Big Boobs (Vivienne), Ultimate Girl Little Boobs (Silk) and Ultimate Girl Loli (Tsubomi – who is also photographer love interest boys little sister). No, I’m not making the names up myself.
But don’t worry each girl has her own wangst!
Silk (Little Boobs) our shy girl is madly in love with uninterested McCamerapants.
Vivienne (Big Boobs) is our tough yet-not-a-bitch (a shocking not cliche in this anime) who is madly in love with Silk and of course defeated by the power of heterosexuality.
Tsubomi (Loli) who is the mad cosplayer and uncaring of nudity which of course makes her useless as an Ultimate Girl because she doesn’t have a high enough MOE factor to use the special abilities.
Overall, I don’t mind a ridiculous anime at all, but I really wish this had been a lot funnier rather than playing it straight and for wangsty angst effect. I mean come on the main characters costumes are made from alien ejaculate how seriously do you expect me to take this?
